Inside Hazing

Greek Life: Come for the bonding, stay for the branding

Joey Chenoweth — 2010-02-04

Over the winter break, The Greatest Story You Never Heard About took place. ABC News reported the case of a student from Texas Christian University (TCU) and an unfortunate road trip involving fire in inappropriate areas. This young man was a new member of a fraternity and made the mistake of agreeing to let the fraternity take him far away from safety.

Long story short, some sins occurred, some alcohol was consumed, yada yada. Next thing the student knew, he had himself a brand of the fraternity’s initials on his buttocks.

Now, this story is fascinating in many ways, partly because it produced one of the greatest quotes I’ve ever read: “My whole other butt cheek was destroyed.” Stephen Glass couldn’t even make up something that great. Also, the student happened to be the great-grandson of one of TCU’s greatest donors. Whoops.

But the glory of this story had to be ruined — like so many other treasures — by the involvement of Greek Life.

A good portion of Greek Life is made up of people who actually enjoyed all the stupidity of high school to the point where they just had to continue it in college. All the social requirements. All the backstabbing. All the immaturity. They’re all still alive in fraternities and sororities.

Fraternities will have you believe they do what they do for the purpose of bonding and male camaraderie. Then they’ll put pillowcases over pledges’ heads and release them in the middle of the woods. Sororities will say they’re providing a female support system. Then they’ll punish their pledges when they can’t make Rush Event No. 5,274.

Am I stereotyping? Sure. But as the scholar Eric “Otter” Stratton said in Animal House, if you were to pick out the wrongdoings of just a few, “shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system?” Yes, Otter! There is obviously something about the Greek Life system that promotes wrongful behavior; otherwise, there wouldn’t be an alarmingly high volume of abuse.

According to a study by Dr. Susan Lipkins, a psychologist and expert on hazing (she’s met Oprah!), 39 percent of respondents feel humiliation is a “significant element” in Greek Life initiation. Twenty-nine percent of the respondents feel excessive alcohol consumption and physical pain are key ingredients in introducing new members to these clubs. And we won’t even talk about the 25 percent who feel paddles have a place in initiations.

These stats don’t include the way fraternities and sororities turn their members into indentured servants in order to be accepted into their little club. They sign their pledges up for countless activities, make them put friendships on hold with gimmicks like “No Booze No Boys” and constrain socially acceptable behavior in such a way that it’s like high school spirit week all over again.

Are there some fraternities and sororities that don’t do that? Sure. But that’s irrelevant. Whenever there are recurring scandals taking place within an industry, that industry gets reformed to prevent those types of behaviors from happening. It doesn’t matter what percentage are guilty.

Think about baseball with steroids. Businesses with discriminatory hiring. The government with the influence of lobbyists (oh, wait). None of these actions are worse than the abuse from Greek Life organizations. So why should Greek Life be immune to reforming the very core of its functions? Shouldn’t we stop laughing off the injustices of initiation rituals?

Or should the TCU student simply turn the other cheek?

CNY high school club initiation

Alaina Potrikus — 2009-12-13

The cell phone video is shaky and filled with the high-pitched squeals of teenage girls, some wearing blindfolds walking through the halls of Hamilton High School, following the orders of older students.

The girls are told to drop to the floor on their hands and knees and then crawl on their stomachs. Another video shows the young women being led to the urinals of the boys’ bathroom, where they remove their blindfolds to find the cameras rolling.

The tradition of the Almeda Literary Society, an all-female club at the high school that organizes community service projects and an annual dance for students, dates back decades in Hamilton.

But this year’s rite of passage has sparked controversy from a group of parents who said the incident at the group’s initiation event in November is a form of hazing.

A psychologist who has researched hazing on high school and college campuses characterized the incident as moderate hazing that could indicate inappropriate behavior in other school clubs and sports teams.

Susan Lipkins, author of “Inside Hazing: How Parents, Teachers and Coaches Can Stop the Violence, Harassment, and Humiliation,” said the trust walk held by the sorority-like student organization should not be taken lightly by parents and school officials.

“With mild hazing, everyone thinks it’s funny and it’s no big deal,” she said. “But it’s usually not the end. It’s usually just the beginning. It’s never an isolated incident.”

At a public forum held by the district Nov. 23, current Almeda members reiterated that the walk was part of team-building activities and was a voluntary part of the initiation process. To join, new members participate in a week of activities, dressing in themes, receiving gifts from their sponsors and taking part in an induction ceremony, which is followed by a trust walk.

“I feel everything is good clean fun,” said student Jenna Whyatt. “It’s a fun way to get to know each other.”

“We did not force them to do anything they didn’t want to do,” added Jenna Schell.

Katherine Keever was initiated this November into the group and called the trust walk “the best thing ever.”

“We didn’t have to do it if we didn’t want to,” she said. “It was one of the best high school experiences I have been through so far.”

At the meeting, Superintedent Diana Bowers said she had investigated the matter and determined the incident did not “create a risk of emotional, physical or psychological harm to the participating students,” adding that she understood that “some of the activities may have caused discomfort among some students.”

But some parents aren’t pleased with the results and plan to bring the matter before the state.

“No girl that’s trying to fit in is not going to do it,” said parent Lisa Wright.

“We want to build these young women up,” said parent Mary Casarotti, whose daughter is an Almeda. “We want to empower them, to give them skills to make them leaders in this country.

“They need to be surrounded with the positive, not people tearing them down,” she continued. “Not humiliating them, creating a pecking order.”

Although no Almeda members spoke publicly about the incident, an anonymous letter submitted to the Hamilton Board of Education by a current member suggests that some students have a problem with blindfolding prospective members.

“To be honest, it’s not funny when all you can see is black and the person who you put your trust in to make sure you don’t get hurt or embarrassed is hysterically laughing at you because something went wrong and you weren’t supposed to take a step two inches to the right,” the letter reads, adding that the incident was “truly shameful and represents not only the club but also the school in a terrible way.”

At the forum, resident Jim Broedell asked the school board to consider how the situation would have been viewed if a student had been hurt that night. An injury could have brought the state’s criminal hazing statute into play.

“I think you’re turning your back on the problem,” he said.

Senior David Schutt was the lone student who spoke out against the initiation activities at the forum, which was attended by more than 75 students, parents and teachers.

“I know people who didn’t join the group because they knew those activities were a very characteristic part of Almeda,” he said. “In my mind, that is where the real trouble is.”

Lipkins said the cycle of hazing begins in high school and can continue into adulthood.

“You come in as someone new and you get hazed,” she said. “Then you watch as someone else gets hazed. Then, when you are powerful, you do the hazing.”

The behavior usually escalates with each event, Lipkins said.

“Kids do to others what was done to them,” she said. “But they want to add their own piece, their own spice. They usually increase it in some way.”

Bowers said the students are working to concentrate on the community service aspects of the club.

“We’re taking lemons and making lemonade,” she said. “We’re trying to make it about growth and learning.”

Television Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-10-30

CNN

Headline News, Nancy Grace

Topic: TBD

Television Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-10-29

CBSNews.com

Interview with Dr. Jon LaPook

Topic: Sexting and Teens

Television Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-10-16

NBC

TODAY Show

Topic: Burning Boy and Bullying

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-10-13

Oprah.com/National Web

"I Will Never Know Why"

Related Link: Preventing School Shootings

"I Will Never Know Why"

Susan Klebold — 2009-10-12

Since the day her son participated in the most devastating high school shooting America has ever seen, I have wanted to sit down with Susan Klebold to ask her the questions we've all wanted to ask—starting with "How did you not see it coming?" and ending with "How did you survive?" Over the years, Susan has politely declined interview requests, but several months ago she finally agreed to break her silence and write about her experience for O. Even now, many questions about Columbine remain. But what Susan writes here adds a chilling new perspective. This is her story. — Oprah

Full story click this url: http://tinyurl.com/yhotkxd

Preventing School Shootings

Nearly one year after the Virginia Tech shootings and nine years after the Columbine High School massacre, Gayle talks with psychologist Dr. Susan Lipkins about these tragedies and how parents, students and teachers can take steps to prevent violence on campus.

In both the Virginia Tech and Columbine rampages, young men who had been social outcasts shot and killed random people on campus. Since then, Dr. Lipkins says some changes—such as text messaging alert systems and emergency sirens—have been put in place on college campuses to warn students when a shooting occurs, but she says it isn't enough. "I would like us to start looking at it from a proactive, preventative way," she says. "Start looking at why are kids doing this and what can we do with our kids in high school and in colleges to provide them with the kind of psychological help they need."

People who attend or work in schools can make a difference in preventing more shootings, Dr. Lipkins says. "Everybody really needs to reach out to those kids who are suicidal, who are desperate, whose behavior has changed and you have a gut feeling about them," she says. "Please don't hold it in—tell somebody, share that information. You might be helping that child save his life as well as [those of] many other innocent victims."

Television Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-09-24

NBC

TODAY Show

Topic: Sexual Bullying

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-09-06

Southtownstar.com/National Web

Susan Lipkins

Sticks, guns, swords - boys and their toys

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-08-31

The Praeger Handbook of Victimology (Hardcover)

By Janet K. Wilson

Contribution by Susan Lipkins; definitions for hazing and bullying

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-08-11

Mindful-Mama.com/National Web

Susan Lipkins

Vulture Culture: How We Encourage Bullying

Television Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-24

CNN Headline News

Prime News with Mike Galanos

Topic: Sexting

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-14

JustMommies.com/National Web

Susan Lipkins

Are YOU ready to potty train?

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-14

Parent2Parent.com/National Web

Susan Lipkins

Vulture Culture: How we encourage bullying

Sexting sends message about changing values

John Bogert — 2009-06-13

Like most things, like Spencer and Heidi Pratt and that TV couple with the eight kids, sexting - sending by cell phone or Internet nude or semi-nude images of one's self - languishes at the very bottom of my don't-care list.

Naturally, I gave my 15-year-old son the lecture. The message being that sexting is anthrax. Once it's out, it's out there forever. It's also wrong and stupid.

Or wrong and stupid enough to land more than one 18-year-old "adult" in jail for transmitting child porn images of his 16-year-old girlfriend.

Then a friend of mine caught her bright and pretty 14-year-old daughter sending semi-revealing pictures of herself over the Internet to a classmate in the spirit of lighthearted fun. Which caused horrified mom to go People's Republic on the kid. This I say because China is now requiring that all computers sold in that country come with software that automatically blocks pornography.

The girl in question saw her cell phone and computer confiscated even though mom knows that there is no way short of murder to prevent a savvy kid from hopping over all the electronic barriers the feeble adult world might place in her path.

Still, this latest and damn-near-complete departure from ancient behavioral norms is intriguing, mainly because we have yet to develop legal or ethical ways to deal with a behavior that 66 percent of the population may be talking part in.

A 2008 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies found that one in five 13- to 19-year-olds have sent revealing pictures of themselves in text form or online. This while a third of boys and a quarter of girls claimed that these "private" images were later shared with a wider audience.

Bill Albert, spokesman for the Washington-based organization, stated that today's teens need to discover - apparently nobody ever told them? - for themselves what is appropriate and what is not in a world transformed by technology.

"This technology is so new that people haven't found their moral compass," he told the BBC. "The problem is that even if you think you are sending a picture only to your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can go from private to global in a nanosecond. And something like that can stick with you like a cyber-tattoo for the rest of your life."

Even as sexters laugh at long-term ramifications and the vague threat of punishment, the Illinois state Legislature has made sexting a felony punishable by a $2,500 fine and a year in the can. Add to this the suicide last year of a humiliated Ohio teen whose nude photos were shared by a boyfriend and we're bound to see even more calls for draconian punishment.

This for what seems to be a largely consensual and mostly private practice (2percent of sexters claim that they were pressured by another) involving people of all ages, sexes, races, creeds and colors.

Which is why I spoke last week to New York psychologist and recent Oprah guest Dr. Susan Lipkins. Having written on sexual bullying and the dangers of hazing, Lipkins - whose practice focuses on teens and families - this year conducted a survey of her own when experience began to suggest that the figures she was seeing were too low.

In Lipkins' study of 323 people she found that 65 percent of respondents ages 13 to 19 and 73 percent of those 20 to 26 had sexted.

What's more, they felt good about it.

Sexting, she claims, is about the thrill of engaging in risky behavior in a way that would appear to involve minimum risk. People sext to be turned on or to be funny. It is also a form of power-seeking practiced alone, during sexually explicit video chats or even in groups.

It's also done to hook up with someone new, making it a kind of mating call, and as what not long ago would have been seen as an outrageous way to gain social status. Only - and isn't this perpetually the case? - when the cool kids do it it's cool and when the not-so-cool do it it isn't.

Still, Lipkins calls sexting a symptom of the current sexual revolution. Or evolution (or maybe de-evolution) in an age when younger people, apparently overpowered by life's demands, seek casual sex and see nothing at all wrong with retransmitting the images they receive because sexters should expect as much.

"The surprising part was the girls," Lipkins said. "They don't want relationships. This, I think, is similar in its way to the 1960s, when the pill made free sex possible and made parents shake their heads."

Also involved here is what she calls "a new attitude toward ownership of written words, music and images and with the way young people look at themselves in physical space."

Ownership, it seems, is something to be shared while sex is often about hits, about quantity rather than depth of relationships. This, she said, is the smoke rising from a second sexual revolution.

"What's worrying to adults is that younger people are not subscribing to our sexual morality. Meanwhile, there is no way to legislate or prosecute this behavior. Sexting is already part of the culture for the young people that grew up in a digital world. We older adults have this archaic view that we will somehow catch them."

And there is, short of screwing down a Chinese-style lid, no way of stopping a practice that - when used maliciously - can be devastating. Which is why she thinks sexting needs to be discussed in schools, churches and in the home.

She also recommends that computers and cell phones come with a built-in pop-up question to interrupt and maybe slow down the impulsive flow.

Just a simple question, "Do you really want to send this image?"

Radio Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-11

SiriusXM, National

15 min live w/Jay Thomas, Sexting

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-11

Mindful-Mama.com/National Web

RE:Bullying w/Elizabeth Marglin

Radio Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-10

Voice of America, NA

20 min live w/Julie Taboh, Sexting

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-08

Daily Breeze/Torrance & LA, CA

w/John Bogert, Sext Survey

Press Appearance

Dr. Susan Lipkins — 2009-06-08

Associated Press/National

w/Christine Armario, Bullying